I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
