Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you didnt know i had herpes?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
