You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
