this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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