You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
