Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
