They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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