You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
