As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I believe in your delicious
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
