apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
