How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
it glows. i had to have it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
