LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
