I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
