either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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