just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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