i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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