I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Drunk is not a location!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
