With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
