I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
