If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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