Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
God, I missed his penis.
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