what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
