my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
