You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
