He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
