I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
