my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
