So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I FOUND THE LEGS
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
