I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
