I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
