Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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