had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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