U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
