im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
