Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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