i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
