Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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