wat bout pragnant strippers??
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
