ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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