Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize