I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
