Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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