I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
