Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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