Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
