the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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