guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
