i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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