Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
