I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
