Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
