Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
