Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This is my gift to your gina
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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