Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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