Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
