i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
