And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
